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I wrote this story. Hope you like it!
The Hobo Monologue
Hobos... god, where to start... I guess I'll start with the different types of 'bos... Lesse... First, we have the original 'Bo. They have a sleeping bag, a train, and a bundle full o' dreams. These 'bos usually are nice and easy-going, but one might not want to get close, because they can get irritable when confronted. Next, we have the modern 'Bo. They, like the original 'Bo, have a sleeping bag, but have no train. And, they also differ from the original 'Bo in other ways. They have a sign, usually saying "God bless you for some money." Having given these 'bos money before, I know what they say. They tend to say "God bleesa." But, you know the will just spend it on booze. There are two sub-species of the modern 'Bo. One, is almost exactly the same, but I call them the "City 'Bo." They tend to be very aggressive. Sometimes they actually get so aggressive that they attack your window. This kind of 'Bo is like dogs. If you give them money, or anything else, they automatically assume you are loaded, so they keep begging for more. A word of advice for when you are in the city: WINDOWS LOCKED, VALUBLES OUT OF SIGHT. Thank you. Now, the dog 'Bo. These, are almost identical to the modern 'Bo, but they have doges. Named Sanches. Awww, Sanches. These 'bos are nicer and poorer because they have dogs, and in turn, have to buy food for Sanches. Next, a whole new 'Bo! Now, we Pepto-Bismol have the Crazy 'Bo. These 'Bos tend to live in alleys, on the street, or in construction sites. These 'Bos buy no food, and live in odd places. These guys get a 'Bo warning of 4 out of 5. This high "only advised professionals" rating is because they have almost no understanding of real life, because they have been 'Bos for so long that they went insane. An evolved form of the "Modern 'Bo" They have gone from a 2/5 to a 4/5. STAY AWAY. Now we have the most dangerous 'Bo- 5/5- rating, No approaching at all costs. The smart 'Bo. A notch off the modern 'Bo evolution, instead of going insane, they actually got smarter. These 'Bos habitats are in good places, like a school, a creek, any place with food, really. These 'Bos are dangerous because they have a knowledge of the environment and live in more densely populated areas I have mentioned. Now, do NOT tell these secrets to anyone, anything, or anybo. Now, that is all I have to tell you. Good night, and Good Luck.
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